I just can't seem to start a semester off right..

I woke up Friday morning with a jolt in my stomach ad lots of emotional pain. I was confused, what could be wrong but later I would find out. Today was a hurtful day. I found out that my dad's mom passed away. I was prepared for I knew she was sickly but you can never prepare for death and it's reaction. I was at my desk in my GA's office as I listened to my brother tell me the news. After a 10 minute talk I just started to cry silently but I wasn't alone. The two other GA's in the office were there to comfort me. I'm not one to open up to people and I sure don't like to open up to people too much but I realized that I had people who cared about me in my life.

Most of the times I feel that I don't deserve it. I don't know why but I have always had this notion that I should help those in need at all times but never receive it back, I am a Capricorn so I guess thats just how things work with me. AFter talking to a few friends I realized how important it is to open and tell people how you feel. People can't read your mind and if you're going through and they act a certain way, can we blame the way people act, no we can't.

The day was long but I stayed at work till 2, why? I needed to be around people and for the first time in my life and leaned on others and enjoyed people's presence, something I don't normally do. I eventually spoke with my parents throughout the day and felt at piece. That night I met up with another GA and went to a gymnastics meet, not to enjoy it really but to be around people and happiness. I just couldn't be alone this weekend. 

This has been quite a start for my semester. Last semester I dealt with extreme change, leaving family and friends behind in another state and then experiencing a catastrophic hurricane and now the loss of my grandmother. I'm not beat down but I am at that moment where I'm just god awful tired and am trying to fight. As an author said, an injured lion still likes to roar, well, I'm injured and am trying to roar but not much is coming out. I pray I survive this semester....