I almost had a seizure watching this...

Be my mother lover...Happy Mother's Day Mom

And the angels in heaven wept...

I'm so confused, like why. Not only did angels cry but doves as well. Prince wants his swag back riri.

Man senior year memories, I swear this is how we survived...

Dang, that's just too real for a Monday...

I've been slacking.... but it's May 1st!!!!

Oh boy, it's been waaayyyyyy too long since I've made a post and since it's May I decided to start anew and slightly update my life on here. Hmmm let's see what have I learned this last month. Well first I've learned how much patience and growth I have gained this year. I never knew the strength that I had till this past month of HELL from the devil himself but of course I have let people's ignorance roll off my back and have kept it moving. I can't believe that in a few days, I will have officially completed my first year of grad school. Just a year ago I was preparing for my 3 graduations I had to attend, yeah 3 and now I'm attending the same ones as a supporter. I think that will be bittersweet. I may shed a tear of joy for the people graduating this year for they mean the world to many and that's saying alot, gosh I'm getting all sentimental on here. Also in 22 days I will be in Austin, ahhh get excited!!!!! I will be interning in the day and camp counseling in the afternoon. Im so ready to see my babies this summer, so ecstatic. They will have the best counselor and I can't wait to hear their stories of the past year and the girl making me wear pig tails everyday and the boys making me make them pirate hats. Let's just say I can be a camp fashionista. I will have pics posted this summer for its only fair. Since I'm talking about endings and beginnings, I must say that I am going to sorely miss some good friends this summer that I have made in my cohort. My life would be lost without Chris, Ryann, and Alicia. I have no idea what I would do without them and you all mean alot and I don't let everyone in my circle, so yes you are welcome:) I also would like to thank the big JC for letting things work out as they have. It's weird how for some reason I always have to have it the hard way but it works out for my good in the end. I don't like it but it makes me more appreciative for the blessings around me. Well I will have a part two to this post but I gotta tutor, then outline my paper and then Wolverine, I'm hoping still. I'm at peace and will try not to panic when I don't understand what the heck Baxter Magolda is saying.
Till next time folks! Stay classy:)

For a quick moment I was 5 again....

Ok so tonight in class I had a special moment happen for me. I had a great role playing/therapy session and well I was overly praised by my professor and classmates. It was so weird, I mean I didn't know what to do, even my client complimented me. I felt as though my mom was there congratulating me for some accomplishment I had done. As I listened, I lost that 23 year old girl and became 5 again for a split second. I bit my lip and looked down cause well I wanted to smile so bad and I felt so much joy but you can't hide happiness for too long and it crept out. I was so amazed at how I felt and realized that I had a break through and actually acknowledged that I did something good. I NEVER do that and you know what, it felt good to give myself a pat on the back. I felt 5 again and I would like to feel that again:)

Cheers to being 5

Happy Birthday RiRi

Girl you better work it. That hat is the business and I swear I'm gonna have to cop one for Halloween so I can be the queen. Oh wait I better keep that to myself. I don't want her to eat me or better yet hit me with those socker knockers of hers. Snap for the kids!
Oh and her BF, Catfish Slick Willy came along for the PAR-TAAAYYYY, HEY HEY.

Akon's a diva!

I had the beautiful opportunity, lol to be hospitality manager for our spring concert Groovin on the Grounds and was able to work 16 hours and make sure that the artists were comfortable and had everything they needed in order to perform. From worrying about catering to outlandish lists, I learned alot in one day. The day wouldn't have been bearable if not for my volunteers who I came close to quick and cracked me up from start to finish. Ok so on to Akon(AKORn, to us), he's a diva. I mean I had to drive to 3 stores just to find some mango altoids, wth and bing cherries, dude cherries are a summertime fruit. Anywho the best part, well one of the best parts was running in the secret tunnel to get him and his crew and escort them to their rooms. Talking about an adrenaline run!! I think I can work for the secret service now.

The weirdest thing was how he walked in with one of his wives, concubines, gf, G1, or some random chick, not sure what she was. She thought she was hot shit (Ryann can back me up) with her dollar store gloss and hooker white shoes. Should have took a pic. I mean she was holing his arm and he just walked in, eyes straight, ignoring my babies, whatever. I think he coldly said what's up, it was awkward and icy. I also think he blew up in his room when he found that his cherries were canned, dude get over yourself. His crew was ok, his bodyguards, mean, one snapped at me when I said keep the door open when you leave, he's like what? Bastard!!

As for the show it was actually decent. I mean he gave a good show, wasted fiji and tiger water on the audience and jumped a few times into the audience. He's a fool but I laughed and he made me look. Oh and he lip-synched the entire set.

Afterwards his crew came back and weren't that bad and actually thanked us for our hospitality and that we got them a juicer and blender. It's called Southern Hospitality and we do it right. I am really proud of everyone apart of the group and felt like i earned some imaginary stripes and stars lol. I took a moment on the balcony of the union to take it all in and realized what I had done while AKON performed. It takes alot to get them on that stage, and I played a major point. Also groupie action is no joke, IT'S REAL and major as one chick who came back to the rooms said to the tour manager, "I have my id, ya'll can do anything to me." Alrighty then and she's a student, what an idiot. As one of my kids said, Akon gonna bang and throw that back OUT Bi**hhhhh!!! I fell out, tired and all and then he asked her how she was doing as we all gave her judgmental stares, classic moment

Euphoria came when his crew finally left the rooms after midnight, for we all raided it and took EVERYTHING!! I left with 2 pizzas, gatorade and some chips. I'm in grad school, feel sorry for me. I'm just glad my kids got something after all their hardwork. I am exhausted, somehow made it to church at 8am, and am finishing up my project for a class this week. I'm on beast mode but need to sleep asap!

Check out some explanation pics below!



It's ALL MINE!!!




Pic taken after midnight sometime, I was too tired to hold anything. Everyone smiled except me. I wanna be a thug lol!



Make due with your resources, don't judge a freshman!!!!

October's Own

If this dude came into one of my sessions or was in one of my classes, my goodness it would be ON!!!!



His name is Drake, he's a fantastic artist and I want him lol!!!!

Patience my little one..

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhh,
I wish I knew how to chill seriously! These past few weeks have been killer, ultra-worrisome, filled with stress. I HATE WAITING...I have no control, I can't factor into the what if, all I can do is wait and that makes me uncomfortable, vulnerable and overall, anxious. What if the worse case scenario occurs in a situation, what then? I know I can't control everything but I want things to work out. I wander will things work out, to many things factor into this situation and I pray that they don't fail me now. I'm gonna drive myself insane if I don't learn how to let go and just live in the moment, and make it one day at a time....

It's Official.....

Well after pulling my TI'ness from within me, straight hustle Homie, I got an internship and a job for the summer. I look forward to 60 hour work weeks but hey it's what I do. I don't know how to sit down. I'll be Austin Bound at St. Edward's University which is less than 5 minutes away from the best job I have ever had, camp counselor at Austin Nature and Science Center. I'll teach my kids great hiking techniques but also the science of making a fantastic volcano. I can't wait to be a fake parent this summer again and explore the beauty of Austin with my campers. I'm too excited. May needs to get here ASAP!!!!

Today

Today I promise to be a little more patient
Today I promise not to be so hard on myself
Today I seek for understanding
Today I search for who I am and what I need
Today I must stay steadfast
Today I must be prayed up and unmovable
Today is a new day

Frustration....

I'm waiting for a breakthrough.....

Have you ever been at that moment where enough was enough, you were beat down, and the white flag has been raised? Well I'm there. I'm dealing with a tumultuous issue at this moment and I wander how will God pull me through. It always seems that my life has to be hard, filled with tests, constantly, I just can't LIVE. Live, you know where you don't have to worry as much, you can enjoy life and do what is needed to survive and be happy. Instead, I have to be the ultimate multi-tasker, filled with inconsiderate individuals that don't understand me, ME. I'm not selfish but I wander why my life has taken this uncanny pattern of always dealing with a struggle. Never can I get things easy, not that I want to all the time, but I deserve something better

I'm tired of being the only one that can't have the full spectrum of fulfillment. Everyone around me is living the life, jobs, school, significant other ect ect ect. What do I have? My work and school, nothing more, nothing less and I'm tired, tired of it all. I need a change, I need a break through, I pray I can survive!!!!

I think my mind can send vibes as far as the Super Bowl...

Sooooooo I am watching the Super Bowl with Pittsburgh and the Cards and Bruce Sprinsteen is performing. Anywho he is bouncing on stage too much for my liking and I secretly wish he would fall, I know evil. I texted a friend my issue, 30 secs later he falls!!! I'm like oh shhhhhhh. Also why does every white artist need a black choir to back them up, it's so stereotypical now. Look at me I luv black people, NEXT!!!! Looks like the Steelers are gonna win this one unless the Cards can become the little engine that could!!!!

Thankful for family...

This is short but I luv my family. I was able to lay my grandmother to rest Saturday and even though it was only a day, it felt like an eternity that I was home. I hate leaving every time and I am blessed to have some great parents, gosh. Oh and DFW airport is amazing. I just luv the ski-link. Why can't every airport have that!!!

I got some pep in my step...

As I sit tonight chowing down on hot tamales, I am reviewing today's Inauguration Events and I have questions or issues:

I'm ecstatic to have a black man become president of the free world, or so they say but my God I would hate to be in his shoes. This man has pressure beyond what I felt to graduate from college and get into grad school, find a job ect ect, geesh.

Aretha was wrong for that hat. What a delightful early christmas gift for us all. At least those mammoth boobs weren't showing or they would have swallowed the first family whole.

I wasn't feeling Michelle's dresses today. Grandma curtains, feathers and cotton swabs are not in. You got out-staged by your own kids. Also where was her wedding ring at the balls, girl he put a  ring on it, you better show it.

I wish Americans weren't so naive. Obama is not God or some dude that will save us. Are people crazy? Are we so desperate of a nation that a slogan such as yes we can, will make us believe that all i swell and will be solved, ummmmmmmmmmm, still waiting.

Beowolf tried to steal the show.

BET had a ball??? No one got shot????? Is this change.......

10 balls and faking like it was your first dance is wrong, wrong, wrong. I would be like eff that.

Overall I hope Obama does well. This man has a tough road ahead!!!!!

I just can't seem to start a semester off right..

I woke up Friday morning with a jolt in my stomach ad lots of emotional pain. I was confused, what could be wrong but later I would find out. Today was a hurtful day. I found out that my dad's mom passed away. I was prepared for I knew she was sickly but you can never prepare for death and it's reaction. I was at my desk in my GA's office as I listened to my brother tell me the news. After a 10 minute talk I just started to cry silently but I wasn't alone. The two other GA's in the office were there to comfort me. I'm not one to open up to people and I sure don't like to open up to people too much but I realized that I had people who cared about me in my life.

Most of the times I feel that I don't deserve it. I don't know why but I have always had this notion that I should help those in need at all times but never receive it back, I am a Capricorn so I guess thats just how things work with me. AFter talking to a few friends I realized how important it is to open and tell people how you feel. People can't read your mind and if you're going through and they act a certain way, can we blame the way people act, no we can't.

The day was long but I stayed at work till 2, why? I needed to be around people and for the first time in my life and leaned on others and enjoyed people's presence, something I don't normally do. I eventually spoke with my parents throughout the day and felt at piece. That night I met up with another GA and went to a gymnastics meet, not to enjoy it really but to be around people and happiness. I just couldn't be alone this weekend. 

This has been quite a start for my semester. Last semester I dealt with extreme change, leaving family and friends behind in another state and then experiencing a catastrophic hurricane and now the loss of my grandmother. I'm not beat down but I am at that moment where I'm just god awful tired and am trying to fight. As an author said, an injured lion still likes to roar, well, I'm injured and am trying to roar but not much is coming out. I pray I survive this semester....

Another semester

Well the weekend is up, my Titans lost and I'm not ready for school to start again, but I have no choice but to go and get it over with. I am very optimistic of this semester and am wandering how it will end up.  I pray for success, less stress and no mess. Yup that's a nice rhyming sentence, how adorable. I also would like to put the spotlight on a dear friend who has such a sweet message as to what people may want, she hit it on the nail and I'm posting it. 

What I want:

To be given one more chance to prove I can do this. Discipline to push through the tougher times. Courage to pipe up, pipe on. Faith in my future. Clarity in my dreams. Freedom to dream unrealistically. Cessation of restraining my dreams. Optimism. Shown where I'm meant to go, but given the choice on how to get there. Reassurance, support. Surrender to appearing foolish. To stop caring what others think. Rediscovery of solace in the faith I had left behind. To love and be loved in return. To stop restricting myself. My best friend, my confidant. To be pined after. To trust. To stop expecting the worse in others. To be happy: completely, extensively, intensely, totally happy.

I love this and I definitely love the author very much...

I really needed this and will follow accordingly.

Where is my energy...

I needed a break....

Quickly I just want to post that I am becoming more embarrassing with my energy levels. Seriously I'm tired all day except for when I'm working out. So do I need to run all day? I don't think so, but somethings not right. Maybe, the son of man Tebow can heal my exhaustive nature. That would be nice. The weekend is coming, praise ya, and I just want to sleep, workout and pray the Titans can win on Saturday. That's all I want. I'm not asking for much. Oh and I'm learning to not freak out, well for one day that is. I kept telling myself to just breathe, breathe, breathe and it worked. I smell breathing mediation days on a daily basis for real. 

It's been a while.. I gotta do better

My New Year's lame resolution is to actually fill up this blog. I'm so exhausted and busy all the time but I'm gonna make the effort even if it's a tiny blurb. I completed my first semester of grad school, got to finally go home, made new friends who I adore, learned alot about myself and grew a year older, oh snap. My Winter Break is up and I'm now back at work, stressed beyond belief. This semester will be HELL. I smell it and I don't like the scent of it at all. I'm gonna try to enjoy it but that's highly unlikely. I don't stop to smell roses, I walk by them and run to my next project which is bad, but what can I do. School starts back Monday and the only push is knowing that I'm closer to being done, well sort of. I wander what this semester holds but I forecast it to be highly stressful unless I can learn how to breathe, once again highly unlikely. I'm tired and ready to go to bed but that won't happen either, so cheers to some trash TV, my brain hurts.