It's Official.....

Well after pulling my TI'ness from within me, straight hustle Homie, I got an internship and a job for the summer. I look forward to 60 hour work weeks but hey it's what I do. I don't know how to sit down. I'll be Austin Bound at St. Edward's University which is less than 5 minutes away from the best job I have ever had, camp counselor at Austin Nature and Science Center. I'll teach my kids great hiking techniques but also the science of making a fantastic volcano. I can't wait to be a fake parent this summer again and explore the beauty of Austin with my campers. I'm too excited. May needs to get here ASAP!!!!

Today

Today I promise to be a little more patient
Today I promise not to be so hard on myself
Today I seek for understanding
Today I search for who I am and what I need
Today I must stay steadfast
Today I must be prayed up and unmovable
Today is a new day

Frustration....

I'm waiting for a breakthrough.....

Have you ever been at that moment where enough was enough, you were beat down, and the white flag has been raised? Well I'm there. I'm dealing with a tumultuous issue at this moment and I wander how will God pull me through. It always seems that my life has to be hard, filled with tests, constantly, I just can't LIVE. Live, you know where you don't have to worry as much, you can enjoy life and do what is needed to survive and be happy. Instead, I have to be the ultimate multi-tasker, filled with inconsiderate individuals that don't understand me, ME. I'm not selfish but I wander why my life has taken this uncanny pattern of always dealing with a struggle. Never can I get things easy, not that I want to all the time, but I deserve something better

I'm tired of being the only one that can't have the full spectrum of fulfillment. Everyone around me is living the life, jobs, school, significant other ect ect ect. What do I have? My work and school, nothing more, nothing less and I'm tired, tired of it all. I need a change, I need a break through, I pray I can survive!!!!

I think my mind can send vibes as far as the Super Bowl...

Sooooooo I am watching the Super Bowl with Pittsburgh and the Cards and Bruce Sprinsteen is performing. Anywho he is bouncing on stage too much for my liking and I secretly wish he would fall, I know evil. I texted a friend my issue, 30 secs later he falls!!! I'm like oh shhhhhhh. Also why does every white artist need a black choir to back them up, it's so stereotypical now. Look at me I luv black people, NEXT!!!! Looks like the Steelers are gonna win this one unless the Cards can become the little engine that could!!!!

Thankful for family...

This is short but I luv my family. I was able to lay my grandmother to rest Saturday and even though it was only a day, it felt like an eternity that I was home. I hate leaving every time and I am blessed to have some great parents, gosh. Oh and DFW airport is amazing. I just luv the ski-link. Why can't every airport have that!!!

I got some pep in my step...

As I sit tonight chowing down on hot tamales, I am reviewing today's Inauguration Events and I have questions or issues:

I'm ecstatic to have a black man become president of the free world, or so they say but my God I would hate to be in his shoes. This man has pressure beyond what I felt to graduate from college and get into grad school, find a job ect ect, geesh.

Aretha was wrong for that hat. What a delightful early christmas gift for us all. At least those mammoth boobs weren't showing or they would have swallowed the first family whole.

I wasn't feeling Michelle's dresses today. Grandma curtains, feathers and cotton swabs are not in. You got out-staged by your own kids. Also where was her wedding ring at the balls, girl he put a  ring on it, you better show it.

I wish Americans weren't so naive. Obama is not God or some dude that will save us. Are people crazy? Are we so desperate of a nation that a slogan such as yes we can, will make us believe that all i swell and will be solved, ummmmmmmmmmm, still waiting.

Beowolf tried to steal the show.

BET had a ball??? No one got shot????? Is this change.......

10 balls and faking like it was your first dance is wrong, wrong, wrong. I would be like eff that.

Overall I hope Obama does well. This man has a tough road ahead!!!!!

I just can't seem to start a semester off right..

I woke up Friday morning with a jolt in my stomach ad lots of emotional pain. I was confused, what could be wrong but later I would find out. Today was a hurtful day. I found out that my dad's mom passed away. I was prepared for I knew she was sickly but you can never prepare for death and it's reaction. I was at my desk in my GA's office as I listened to my brother tell me the news. After a 10 minute talk I just started to cry silently but I wasn't alone. The two other GA's in the office were there to comfort me. I'm not one to open up to people and I sure don't like to open up to people too much but I realized that I had people who cared about me in my life.

Most of the times I feel that I don't deserve it. I don't know why but I have always had this notion that I should help those in need at all times but never receive it back, I am a Capricorn so I guess thats just how things work with me. AFter talking to a few friends I realized how important it is to open and tell people how you feel. People can't read your mind and if you're going through and they act a certain way, can we blame the way people act, no we can't.

The day was long but I stayed at work till 2, why? I needed to be around people and for the first time in my life and leaned on others and enjoyed people's presence, something I don't normally do. I eventually spoke with my parents throughout the day and felt at piece. That night I met up with another GA and went to a gymnastics meet, not to enjoy it really but to be around people and happiness. I just couldn't be alone this weekend. 

This has been quite a start for my semester. Last semester I dealt with extreme change, leaving family and friends behind in another state and then experiencing a catastrophic hurricane and now the loss of my grandmother. I'm not beat down but I am at that moment where I'm just god awful tired and am trying to fight. As an author said, an injured lion still likes to roar, well, I'm injured and am trying to roar but not much is coming out. I pray I survive this semester....